This about trying to lose weight. A big part of our life, for both Ivan and I. Because when we get older we want to still be able to walk This is about the frustration of weight loss and the feelings that go with it. This about having to walk miles to no where on the treadmill and about not being able to sit and eat a big bag of candy when ever I want.It's about living past today.
I had hit a plateau. The dreaded word of dieting, one we never hope
to come across,that Frankenstein of dieting, but one most of us cannot
avoid.
I have lost regularly for the past year which was
wonderful. I rarely stepped on the scale that I had not lost and if I
didn't it wasn't long until I did again.
Then about a month ago or
maybe more nothing happened and nothing happened for a long time. I
was annoyed, mad and very frustrated!! How could I walk so much and
watch my food so much and not lose anything and even see the scale jump
up the odd time like a pogo stick.
PLATEAU! Oh lord no not that. I
really hate that word but there I was resting on the top of a shelf
about half way down the mountain I was trying to get down. And there I
sat for ever and ever and ever. Everyone reminded me I had already lost
67 pounds and I needed to be patient. My husband also reminded me that
our bodies must shift and adjust to be come used to the new us. And
muscle does weigh more that fat.
But I didn't care about any of
this, I didn't care if I am getting more toned and tightening up, and
getting healthier.Darn it, I just want to lose weight and get slimmer. I
don't even want to be skinny, I just want to be slimmer!
I am
also a diabetic with high blood pressure and high cholesterol to add to
the fun! Trying to get all of those things and weight loss under control
is like trying to wrangle a rhino and some days I had had just about
enough and wanted to just eat a bag of almond joys and watch TV.
But after a long wait I got on the scale yesterday and had lost a pound and then today and I had lost another. Finally!!
All
the walking to Memphis and back on the treadmill and the tightening of
my carb eating and watching my diet has started to work again. Finally!
This
does not mean I am a perfect eater and that I am a great exerciser. I
am not. I hate exercise and I hate to watch my food. Some days I wish I
was 20 again and could eat what I wanted, do what I wanted and that I
weighed 120 again.
Chances are that is never going to happen. I am
now 51, almost 52 and weight loss becomes harder with each passing
year, which is why I want the weight off now. I don't want to go blind
or lose my feet or die at 52 and have people say. "Oh that's so sad, she
was so young" I want to live to spend time with my husband, see my
grand children grow up and sped time with their parents. I want to live
to do things with my friends and plant my garden, and travel to far off
places.
So even when that dreaded plateau comes along I will grit
my teeth, and do what I know I need to. This is not a short trip for
me. This is going to be a lifetime journey for me. Most of these things
aren't going away for me and I don't want to let them get the best of
me.
So if you are struggling, solider on. I have discovered trying to lose weight is not for the faint of heart.
